I took this “What’s Your Seduction Style?”Quiz off from Kaileng’s blog and found it to be rather precise and accurate, despite the fact that I still detest the results. Something deep inside me is still rejecting this truth about my past nature and character.  The fact that I have been burying for the past three years….

“You’re so bloody nice”….

The mere thought of my nice old self makes me want to twist and turn and puke out green bile…

“I am a “really nice person”…

Terrific… Simply terrific….

I am a sweet guy who “keeps using my powers for good”….

Woop Di Doo….

My super power is “cuddles” and I can “solve the world’s problems through cuddling”.….

ZZzzzz….

Great… What am I? A freaking carebear?…

Now tell me, having gone through this quiz which reminded me of my past inner self yet again, how do all these “nice” qualities get me the girls? Is being nice even a real seduction style?…

Twenty one years of living life tells me the obvious answer….

Nice guys do finish last…

In fact, nice guys are often exploited and used for the convenience of others. They are the ones who finish last because they want to help others get what they desire at their own expense. Even some people stereotype nice guys as wimps, because they will rather avoid conflicts and arguments and give in for the benefit of others. Most human beings tend to put their self interest above others and just do not see the self sacrifices nice guys take on in order to help them out. And that is why even during the courtship of potential partners, nice guys finish last again. And it is the nice guys who usually remain single. Because they wait patiently below the radar, hopefully wishing that one day, the girl of their dreams will finally realize and notice their insignificant existence….

Checkmate dudes. You can go wait forever for things to come your way. I do not wish for you to end up being one of the forgotten ones, or the unfortunate that gets stepped on and treated like dirt. Trust me, I have been there, and it is not a pretty sight. In contrast, it is the bad guys who get the high salaries, job promotions and beautiful ladies, because they brawl for what they want without sparing a thought for others, and manipulate nice guys and use them as stepping stones to achieve greater heights. It is this selfish individualism that made them respected, successful citizens in modern society. Come on, no girl would date a wimpy, spineless nice guy with no guts. It is simply against the natural laws of attraction. Be the bad guy for a change. Instead of giving her everything she asks for, hold back instead. This way, she would not take you for granted and get bored of you easily. It is exactly like fishing. Practice releasing and pulling the string when the fish catches on to the bait. Dangling the carrot will leave her desire and appetite insatiable, which, in turn, will leave her wanting more from you, and this is precisely why relationships can last for a long time. That is also the reason why magicians do not reveal their secrets….

It is time to turn the tables around. Serving the army has opened my eyes to the real world of imbeciles and bastards, and since then, my calculating, manipulating, conniving brain has been slowly taking over the role my kind heart plays in the usual running of my life. I am no longer the fool you can use whenever you wish and discard when I am useless. Screw your bullshit. I am going to take this white flag and stick it up where the sun does not shine. My knives are sharpened and ready to cut. Watch out for them plunging deep into your spine. I will leave you incapacitated and screaming silently in pain for time without end. I will fight for what I want instead of being the good natured idiot who lingers around and waits for lucky breaks and gifts to fall from the sky….

Finally, the crossover transition is complete…

No more Midas Touch…

No more Mr. Nice Guy….

Well…

Except for this: “Everything I touch turns into gold”….

Split Screen Sadness

And I don’t know where you went when you left me but
It says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell some how
One hand on the trigger of the telephone
Wondering when the call comes
You say it’s all right
You got your heart right

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch til’ you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight

We share the sadness
The split screen sadness

Two wrongs make it all alright tonight

All you need is love, is a lie cause
We had love but we still said goodbye
Now we’re tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it’s nobody’s fault
Cause there’s nothin’ to blame at the drop of your name
It’s only the air you took and the breath you left

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ’til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
The split screen sadness
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you’d fought me ’til your dying day
Don’t let me get away

Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say that this is the way that I used to be
There’s no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
Split Screen Sadness
We share the sadness

Hmmm..…

What can I say?…

The weather sucks…

Simple logic of H2O falling from the sky to the ground…

In the northern hemisphere, people call it snow. White, soft, beautiful crystals float gently across the scenic landscape and eventually cover entire road, trees, houses and gardens. Gradually, everyone puts on their coats and sweaters and comes out to play. Kids and adults alike laugh ecstatically as they build snowmen, play snowball fights, roll about and make snow angels on the ground….

At the equator, the people here call this rain. Wet, wet, rain….

Darn the stupid downpours…

But, munching on HER homemade star-shaped chocolate chip cookies made my insides feel so warm and cozy in spite of the cold winds and rain pelting on the windows. It was as if the freak thunderstorms were non-existent at all. I am cuddled up in my chair, wrapped up in my blanket, listening to my favorite songs and thinking about the movie “The Holiday” we watched yesterday. Oh well, it is the holiday season, a season of giving and sharing, a time of happiness and celebration, so I kind of expected a happy ending to the romantic film. But it was very nice nonetheless, as the good people got what they deserved, which was each other, and the bad people probably got screwed by karma. After that, we went for a not-so-appetizing dinner at sushi tei. It was so amusing watching her poke and play around with her jap curry soba like a curious child experimenting with a worm. Simply adorable! Wished I have gotten all that on video…..

Soon after, we searched around orchard for some stuff we wanted to buy, while braving the strong winds and fierce rain under her little green umbrella. All thanks to her, I finally found the giant cookie monster plush I have been searching high and low for. It was entirely her idea to go takashimaya, and it was as if fate has blessed me with… Err… This wonderful girl… To find the one thing that was so hard to… Errr… Find…. Haha… Funny, I have been to almost every toys‘r’us on the island for the past few weeks and it was all sold out. Finally, on the long but enjoyable bus ride home, I managed to give her the stuff that I have gotten for her donkey years ago. A harry potter poster from JB two years ago, an orange bottle from Taiwan one year ago, a glass necklace for her birthday five months ago, and a calendar with breathtaking pictures of Scotland for her Christmas present. (See, if we went out MORE OFTEN, I would not have saved up so many gifts for you until now) Anyway, besides having enjoyed the cookies and the movie, and finding the perfect Christmas present for my sis, I got something else too. Something a sane human being would never think of. And it was crazily spontaneous coming from her incomprehensibly complex mind. Better still, she also did not know why and how she came up with it. Something that sounds sweet but super gay at the same time. Guess what it is…..

A new nickname…

(Let’s just keep it a secret between us okay? But fine, you can call me that whenever you want. But be sure to lower your voice slightly when we are in a publicly accessible place. I know I am cute, but you don’t have to shout. And I will call you by your new nickname too… =p)

Happy Holidays Everyone!…

Stand in my shoes for a minute.

Imagine this…

When has it been since you last got cross-eyed by staring point blank at the blackboard, chain-smoked and ate mists of filthy chalk dust, experienced Dolby surround sound from your teacher’s preaching, and got an all-natural shower from her relentless sprays of saliva? Sounds familiar? If so, then you were probably one of the kids who had the "privilege" of sitting right in front of the classroom. Gradually, the years passed. Strangely, nothing has changed much since graduating from primary school. Once again, you are still stuck somewhere in the lousy front, with the sickening smell of whiteboard markers and mega bass stereo piercing through your nostrils and eardrums. You could almost count the exact number of unsightly facial hair on your teacher’s face and smell what he had for lunch when his face was shoved right into yours all the time. And during this self-conscious period of time was when you realized something different about yourself compared to other friends of the same age. Somehow, the years spent actively playing basketball and soccer never quite helped at all. If any of these sounds familiar, then you should have guessed it right. You were probably one of the unfortunate few who had to raise your head and look up to everyone around you, not because of respect and admiration, but because you had no other choices. Puberty came knocking at your door and left you a trick instead of a treat….

Face it. Being short has always been a problem in this lousy piece of shit hole we live in. The tall guys are usually the ones who get everything and gets away with everything. They stand a much greater chance of bagging job interviews, leaving bars and clubs with beautiful women, and winning criminal cases decided by juries in an American courthouse. All this was tested and proven by decades of research and studies done and broadcasted worldwide in documentaries. It seems that height has always been one very crucial factor in rating and determining the attractiveness of a potential partner. It is this basic animal instinct which has been governing our animal planet since the big bang. The taller male hunters are deemed stronger and fitter, thus they lead the human packs, and mate with attractive female gatherers who saw them as being more able to provide for and protect their offspring. In turn, the short males are seen as weak and infertile, and are bullied, ostracized and left to fend for themselves. And there is nothing much anyone can do about this law of nature, as nothing much has changed in our modern concrete jungle….

So, what can be done to counter this natural order of disadvantage, injustice and unfairness? Some spend huge fortunes by resorting to growth hormones injections and leg lengthening surgical procedures. It seems that they are much more willing to bear with life threatening side effects and excruciating physical pain than discrimination from our wonderful society. Nevertheless, not all of us are born sucking on silver spoons. In order to break out of this stereotypical view, we make up with intelligence, talent, charm, confidence and humor. These are some things that our taller counterparts take for granted and naturally assume they already have which come along with their height advantage. Forget all that “love at first sight” crap. It probably will not work on short men like you and me. We have already failed the first physical criteria of “tall, dark and handsome” that is engraved in every woman’s subconscious minds. However, you can still create a great second impression by projecting yourself as asserted, confident, fun and spontaneous. Be positive of your strengths and weaknesses and show them off. Believe me when I say, being short has its advantages. Firstly, having this “handicap” will spur you on to improve on other existing strengths and discover your hidden talents. It also exempts you from grueling tasks that involves only the tall, and protects you from dangerously low ceiling fans and doorways. Being short also helps to act as a screen to filter out those pretty chicks with inner beauty who are more than willing to accept you for who you are. In due time, the universe will always balance itself….

As for me, I am perfectly happy with myself, and I will not give up anything in order to grow an extra inch or two. Wait. Well, maybe twenty bucks would be my asking price. Any price higher than that, and I will have to decline. My height suits my personality perfectly, and it goes well with my adorable face too. Hell, if a war were to break out in Singapore and all the ns men were activated, guess who has the higher probability of getting killed?….

Stand tall (metaphorically), and you will stand out….

Stand tall (literally), and you will get shot in the head…..

I have never felt so useless before…..

On frequent occasions, numerous friends have come to me seeking advice and solutions for their problems. And I can safely say that I have at least helped them a bit to ease their burden or distress. But never before have I encountered such a dilemma that really stunned and saddened me until now. This concerns someone who is very close to me. Someone who has been crying in agony non stop since the incident happened. Someone whom I sacrificed my sleep over for and constantly worry about from day to night. Someone whom I will never ever leave alone by herself……

It really breaks my heart to see her like this. She is someone whom I truly respected and admired. Her strength and independence has never failed to inspire and give me the courage and zest to carve out my own path in life. She has been my mentor and my sturdy pillar of support for my entire existence. She is the model example of the modern woman, and probably one of the toughest and strongest females I have ever met. But under the circumstances, it seems that even the strongest pillars can crumble and fall to pieces…..

Never in my whole life have I witnessed her so depressed before. The situation has hit rock bottom, and I am so desperate to help her get out of the hell she is going through that I am doing everything it takes to make things better again. But there is only so much I can do to ease her agonizing pain and suffering as this situation is way out my league. In the end, she needs to put herself together and climb out of this hell by herself. She is hurting deeply, and the wounds are definitely not going to heal for a very long time……

If the truth is revealed and known to any upright and honorable human being, he or she will concur wholeheartedly that that fucking animal deserves to be tortured to dead and condemned for all eternity. Blood is thicker than water. Nobody messes up my family so badly and gets away with it. Someone will pay for this…..

I swear it…..

Fucking piece of shit….

Yes, I am talking to You…..

Yes, YOU…

You with the tiny balding shithead on your fucking little pencil neck…..

There are no words in this whole world debasing enough to describe the wretched, gutless, heartless, cowardly jackass that you are….

Do you seriously think you can just fool around and run away from all that responsibility? Do you even fucking think at all, you SON OF A BITCH?!??!

I am this close to losing whatever is left of my patience and sanity…..

If you even do anything to hurt her again, or make her lose even a strand of hair, i swear to all the higher powers of this world, i will make your life a living hell. I know where you work. I know where you live. You will wish you have never been born in the first place…..

I will BREAK you……