Don’t choke me please…
With exams just around the corner, the surrounding air seems somewhat stuffy. It is definitely not the haze, because the psi remains within safety standards. Trust me, I just checked. We are safe. Physically, at least. It is the aura of fear and nervousness in the air that diffuses into the minds of innocent victims and transforms them into mindless, emotionless drones with a sole purpose in life. Study…….
All i glance around me are such drones. Constantly scooting around the campus with no sense of direction, with thick files and textbooks hugged tightly around their chests, like busy little honey bees buzzing around and zealously safeguarding their precious pollen. The groupies gather in groups, form cults, and mark their tables and benches with personal belongings, which serve as warning signs to ward off any loners who wander into their territory. The loners, in turn, continue their migration until they find a comfortable spot to call their own. Day and night, their mouths are constantly chanting the words “study” and “mug”. Their every speech and movement, seemingly manipulated by a single, ominous, over-mind entity, draining every last bit of life from their overworked bodies….
Now comes the juicy part. For the guys, quickly take this opportunity to show off that ceiling-breaking IQ of yours, that is worthy of Nobel prizes and Mensa standards. Impress the gals with your vast knowledge of atoms and molecules, and they might just chemically bond with you. Also, be extra attentive to that special someone during this period. Shower her with encouragements and phrases like “Let’s score full marks together!” (This particular phrase reminds me of Hangwei. Seriously dude, you can go score full marks yourself…). Show how much you really care for her with a double espresso and a brownie while both of you tackle mind boggling questions and concepts together. Provide her with an endless arsenal of highlighters and colored pens too. As the phrase goes, suffering hardships together brings people closer. This theory can apply to couples or would-be couples as well. For those who are not naturally blessed with a beautiful mind, please do not bang your head against the wall in dismay. You are already half-baked. Just do what I always do. That is, to act cool and smart. Yes, you heard me. Fake it. Emit an aura of fearlessness and superiority over your fellow drones. Work with the law of nature and be the dominating male in the domain. That would probably attract swarms of ladies to you as well. Expect to see results in just a few days! I will give a 30-day money back guarantee to anyone who tries this and fails! Of course, do not expect to get anything back in return, not even my two cents worth….
Nevertheless, despite inhaling so much of their plaque-like fear and anxiety, I am really impressed at how calm and collected I am now. In my mind, everything else that is alive is slowly taking their time and moving in sync. The birds are singing along with the rustling leaves and grass in the gentle breeze. The water ripples softly as falling leaves contacts gently with the surface. I guess this is what some refer to as "peace of mind". I am one with the universe…. But the people who know me inside out, including my room mate (also a victim of mind control), prefer to see me as a "slacker" or a "modern day sloth". Like I care…..
But being different is not such a bad thing after all. Somehow, many people see me as someone who already has secret plans in mind on how best to tackle the examinations. Some are truly amazed at how I can enjoy life outside and still slack around in campus. Their impression of me can be summarized into a single word, “Smart”. But seriously, put on your glasses and take a closer look. I may look smart, but am I really smart?… There you go. Something for you to think about before you find my name on the dean’s list. You know… The other list…..…
(Kaileng, go sleep some more and you can come join my club….)
